Praise the good Lord Jesus Christ and His heavenly Father for waking up this saved one today uninjured, unimpaired, safely in his same bed under the same roof at the same beautiful city on the same beautiful creation of the Lord Jesus Christ called earth ready to serve Him another blessed day NO MATTER WHAT!

Some who have followed this blog more consistently than others may have noticed the fairly extensive leave of absence I have taken from contributing to it. To those who are genuinely concerned for my health and well being by such a sudden lengthy hiatus, I greatly appreciate your empathy for me. Considering the events which unfolded over the preceeding eight months, which I documented on this blog to the best of my ability, I can understand how all those factors might add up in one’s mind to draw a fairly sensible conclusion.

Praise the Lord Jesus Christ for ensuring that absolutely no major calamities have occurred during these past ten weeks, for seeing through the business oppertunity with my sponsor, for ensuring that I have been equipped with the energy, strength, perception, patience, flexibility, creativity and shrewdness (that I have recorded in thorough detail in my august entries for this year), for preserving the strong relationship this saved one has enjoyed with his mother his entire life, for preserving the job that this saved one presently still holds and shall continue to hold as the right-hand man for a man that has played such a major role in shaping my psyche and re-directing it from insanity (as well as death) despite the mistakes that I still make, for my old sponsor’s patience with and trust in me, and the greatest amount of praise that this saved one can muster goes to the Lord Jesus Christ Himself for….. it is all a long story, but I PRAISE PRAISE PRAISE the Lord Jesus Christ for seeing me through this safely so far.

Essentially, I’ve been so busy with work during the last two and a half months that I have had neither the time or energy to contribute another entry to this blog. The funny part is that I’ve probably never had so many major life shifts and notable events (for this blog) happen to me in such a short span of time, but unfortunately the project of composing a vinette elucidating each event like I used to do is going to be impossible for today. If the Lord Jesus Christ wills me to take on such an endevour then I beg for His Holy Spirit’s energy and guidance. Otherwise I literally cannot waste the more than ninety minute period of straight focus it would take for me to complete just a single part. (as anyone who has read this blog before.

For what it’s worth, the reader can rest assured that I’ll try my best to adequately inform the public as to what is happening in my life and what my thoughts are on it. That is, all zero to six people reading this.

Unless….. well, that is another story and a more private matter.

I’m typing this on my work computer and I’m just trying to warm back up into writing so I’ll have to cut ya’ll loose for now.

Like I said before, I’ll do my best to give you an abridged autobiography of those 10 months you missed out on.

Anyway, happy holidays, merry Christmas and God bless.

Go in Christ, friends.




Praise the good Lord Jesus Christ for waking up this saved one today uninjured, unimpaired, safely in his same bed under the same roof at the same beautiful place on the same beautiful creation of the Lord called earth ready to serve the Lord another blessed day NO MATTER WHAT!

Additional praises are given unto the Lord Jesus Christ by this saved one for ensuring to preserve this marvelous opportunity which He has so graciously given me here in Florida, despite the many mistakes I’ve already made.

Most importantly though, I praise the good Lord Jesus Christ for ASSURING this saved one that the Lord’s Holy Spirit has assured victory for this saved one in this venture NO MATTER WHAT!

In the face of all adversity, I must always remember the Lord’s assurance of victory both while I’m here and for all eternity for not only myself, but for all of His sheep. The fact that I might happen to be a black sheep in the flock still struggling with some besetting sin does not change that.

As far as how things are going right now with me, I will emphatically declare that they are going very well and it is only by the Lord Jesus Christ’s merciful loving kindness that such a reality has been made possible for me. There have been a few bumps in the road on the way to this point I will readily admit and the strength of my relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ has grown greater as each of those hurtles has been cleared. That is why I do not fear the notion of any further hardships that I am not prepared for in my future, because the Lord has ASSURED victory for me.

The most recent unexplained hiatus of mine from this project has given me somewhat of a sense of obligation to getting back to regular posting though, whether or not it’s a post of the same caliber that I was blessed with providing on a daily basis a little more than a year ago.

Funnily enough, one of the big reasons I’ve recently chosen to re-engage myself in this blog (beyond serving the Lord Jesus Christ and bringing glory to His kingdom on earth) is to improve my typing skills for work. Yes, that was quite the brilliant excuse, wasn’t it? Har har.

As expected, it has taken a good bit longer than expected for me to finally begin to get this job down but praise the good Lord Jesus Christ that He has ensured that the same patience I saw in the strong mentor who kept me sane through my tenure at the mountain city has remained. It has remained despite time and the new boss-subordinate element that has been added to our relationship here.

On top of my recent diversion of that free time and energy which I once allocated towards this project towards this new job that the Lord has blessed me with, I am also going to choose to intentionally exclude most, if not absolutely all, sensitive details about my day-to-day life here. Especially so if it pertains at all to the business.

“Sensitive” is going to be defined very broadly, in this case.

It is so wonderful to be able to finally be so occupied with something productive that I oftentimes find myself too busy to hate myself. That, on top of the fact that I feel as if I’m finally accomplishing something tangible with my life for the first time since my first community college class.

May the Lord bless everyone reading this abundantly, whether you like me and my writing or not.

If there are any praying people out there, please pray both for my mother and for my boss. Pray for peace to be given by the Holy Spirit upon their hearts and that the joy of true contentment would fill their souls this upcoming holiday season. Whether their peace is given by my safe absence from their lives or through that continuing and ever-expanding success that the Lord has promised to begin to give me this season becoming a reality or through nothing to do with me at all, this saved one begs the Lord Jesus Christ for this blessing to wash over not only those two very important loved ones of mine but also over everyone reading this.

Once again, I’ll do my best towards somewhat regular posting again and I sincerely pray that, should it be the Lord’s will, these last couple entries will get the ball rolling. Honestly though, if I had a choice between being able to regularly update this blog like I used to and keeping the job the Lord Jesus Christ has blessed me with having right now, then I’d instantly choose the job.

Let the Lord’s will be done, however.

Please pray for me. I did intentionally go out of my way to inflate this entry with an unusual amount of positivity, but I hope that won’t fool anyone into believing that I am still not dealing with hardships that I desperately need spiritual support for. Once again, a huge reason I am omitting those details is for the safety of the business I work for.

Regardless, things are going better than they have been for more than a year or two.

Go in Christ, friends.




Praise the good Lord Jesus Christ and His Heavenly Father for waking up this saved one today uninjured, unimpaired, safely in his same bed under the same safe roof at the same beautiful place at the same beautiful creation of the Lord called earth ready to serve the Lord another blessed day NO MATTER WHAT!

Apologies for the long period of radio silence, if anyone was “listening”/reading for whatever reason.

The Lord has seen fit to ensure that I’ve so far been continuously employed by my sponsor, but it is my nature to be paranoid and anticipate any kind of ridiculous possibility coming around the corner. Though I’ve been putting in the maximum amount of effort that I can towards everything, I still feel like another calamity of greater proportions to those I’ve ever experienced before is in my near future. Lord willing, this is entirely just a deception of the devil and the reality is that the Lord is with me providing deliverance from the suicidal self-hate I once endured on a daily basis to a feeling of self-worth that makes day-to-day living bearable.

I wish I could be more detailed in my descriptions of both events in my recent past and my emotions during both that past as well as at present, but I simply cannot right now.

I desperately need prayers because I have a very strong feeling that this period right now is one of the most crucial in my entire life, yet I’ve been so distracted by recent changes in my life that I’ve had less than one percent of the time I had a month ago to contemplate much of the spiritual reality of things at all.

My best will go into resurrecting this project, but for right now I can’t provide a multi thousand word recap to reinvigorate it. I desperately do ask for prayers, though.

Thank you and God bless. I pray for you all and shall be back in contact soon.

Go in Christ, friends.


Praise the good Lord Jesus Christ and His heavenly Father for waking up this saved one today uninjured, unimpaired, safely in his same bed under the same safe roof at the same beautiful town on the same beautiful creation of the Lord called earth ready to serve Him another blessed day NO MATTER WHAT!

Apologies once again for the delay between postings, but so much has been going on and constantly chaotically, shifting for me during these last six months that any regular readers of this blog will be able to understand why it’s so especially difficult for me to just “jump back in” with my specific kind of writing style on here .

Back in this blog’s earlier days , I easily and quite literally wrote over 1200 words per entry every single day. With my thumbs on an iPhone screen, no less. That’s why it may be me nearly impossible for me to sufficiently recollect the events that occur in between these, admittedly rude, hiatuses.

However, I will once again venture to efficiently run the imaginary reader up to speed on my life’s major events that have elapsed since my last entry on here, of which there have…. of course…. been PLENTY, many of which were far more negative and dramatic than I’d have liked them to then our to have been, others not so much.

Praise upon praise upon the Lord Jesus Christ that my sponsor DID actually end up picking me up a week and a half or two ago from my uncle’s/mom’s condo (a month long experience that will require another entry to properly explain), took me to stay at his new and still has me working for him as an “intern” at his shipping store in one of the nicest parts of Florida.

Praise the Lord Jesus Christ that I have not been kicked out of my sponsor’s home and/or fired from working at his store yet, nor do I truly believe my sponsor plans to do that anytime soon.

Praise the Lord Jesus Christ for all of the blessings that He has both already given me in my life and has preserved from allowing those remnants of my past sinful heart to totally ruin with my own free will.

Praise the Lord Jesus Christ for the great abundance of blessings that He has promised me He will shower me with and preserve for me throughout the coming months.

Praise the Lord Jesus Christ that, after more than eight years of my young adult life being one long string of failures that brings my loved one to tears, He has promised me that I will finally be able to make my mother and father proud of me very very VERY shortly.

Praise the Lord Jesus Christ for preserving my body, mind, sanity, and, most importantly BY FAR, my faith and devotion to Him through these more than three years of tribulations that would break the will of any mortal young man my age.

Praise the good Lord Jesus Christ for ensuring me that He has placed me in His grasp and will have me firmly in it until He finally takes me home to be with Him in eternity.

Unfortunately, I have been experiencing some difficulties of note even over here…. to put it lightly, but it is 2 am right now and I’ve got a long laundry list of excuses for cutting this entry to just a short praise/positive check in.

These difficulties have the potential to quickly balloon into life-ruining calamities though, so rest assured I will return shortly and address all of those things.

For right now though, I desperately ask you to pray for me and if you’ve been praying than thank you very much and keep praying for me please. I’ll always keep anyone reading this in my prayers, no matter their opinion of it or reason to read it.

Also, if you are new to my blog and for some reason would be interested in this project and what it is, please read this blog’s “about” section.

I intend to immediately redo the “about me” section thing into something reasonably succinct and coherent just as soon as I post this, because I know it’s almost certainly another one of my messes of jibberishness at the moment.

Hope you enjoyed reading that little bit of positive news and I’ll get on that negative entry as soon as I can.

Here are some pictures

Go in Christ, friends.


Praise the good Lord Jesus Christ for waking up this saved one today uninjured, unimpaired, safely in his same bed under the same roof at the same beautiful town on the same beautiful creation of the Lord called earth ready to serve Him another blessed day NO MATTER WHAT!

In earnest, I will attempt to return to updating this blog semi-to-bi weekly as this very crucial phase in my development unfolds. Rather than attempt to document the upcoming events a month or two after they occur, I will do my best to immediately report them here. By “immediately”, I mean within a full day or two at most.

All of this can only occur with the approval of the Lord Jesus Christ and the energizing, as well as focusing, of my being by His Holy Spirit. If the Lord Jesus Christ does not will for this to happen, then I desperately beg Him to ensure I cease putting what little energy I have into this project instantly.

Right now, I am in a very precarious position in my life and my anxiety over the direction that the events of the upcoming couple weeks ends up going is crippling. It is only by the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ and the energizing of my being through His Holy Spirit that I relate this to the reader now.

The stay at my uncle’s home here at the town of my birth was supposed to be only two weeks at most, but seemingly constant delays by my sponsor for my planned move to his residence have led that supposedly brief stay to stretch out into almost a whole month.

For those unaware:

My old sponsor, from the mountain city I had been staying at during the first half of this blog, moved back down to his hometown in south Florida about three months before I moved back in with my parents.

In this hometown of my sponsor, he purchased a small shipping business and has ever since prospered immensely.

Rather than try his best to forget about the relationships he formed during his tenure up in the mountain city, he has chosen to stay in fairly consistent contact with me. He has continued to offer emotional support and advice as best he could since his move back to Florida.

About a week before I “graduated” rehab in Florida, he got back in contact with me after a month-or-two long hiatus (which he claims was unintentional), and offered me an entry level position at his business as well as a guest bedroom in the new house he has been building.

The Lord knows that I am beyond immensely grateful for this opportunity at employment by a boss who actually knows me very well AND a place to stay while I’m working for him.

The initial projected date that this would all occur was August 25th-September 1st.

After an “interview” with my sponsor’s hiring manager (and, I strongly presume, friend of his) on the phone three days ago, my sponsor indicated that the date of my move in would be delayed to a period around September 5th.

Even without this job offer, I already owe an immense debt to this man for all of the support he has given me over these four years that we’ve known each other.

As the preceding two hundred and fifty thousand or so words of this blog have indicated, I am prone to extreme excitement combined with extreme paranoia when it comes to opportunities like this.

To be honest, I’ve never had such an opportunity presented to me at such a vulnerable time in my life.

I truly am terrified that this opportunity will end up falling through my hands rather than actually occurring when I do desperately need it to.

The days of my stay here at my uncle’s home are beginning to add up and I get the strong feeling that his girlfriend is irritated with my presence here. I cannot hope to stay here much longer, especially as an idle busy-body.

Rather than lodge a list of complaints about my stay here, I chose to only express gratitude for the shelter my uncle has given me during this ever so stressful period of idle waiting.

Living in a halfway house in this town would be a nightmare for me, but if it’s the Lord Jesus Christ’s will then let it be done. I’ve already encountered a series of severe turbulence in my life both recently and in the long term (ever since 2010). Turbulence that has almost always necessitated a sharp turn away from the direction that Id have liked my life to have gone.

A prime example would be my admittance and stay at an inpatient rehab facility. A quick read through the year’s entries leading up to July 4th will make my literal terror at the thought of having to go to an inpatient rehab very clear to the reader.

I will conclude this entry by imploring anyone reading this to pray for me. Please pray that this opportunity actually goes through and becomes a joyful reality for me in the coming weeks. Pray that the Lord finally gives me that “big win” (as my uncle tactfully puts it), that has been completely absent from my life up until this point, during the coming weeks.

If anything, pray for the Lord’s will to be done in my life as well as your’s.

My prayers are with you and I will read, as well as follow, the blog of anyone who makes themselves conspicuous through a like and/or comment on this (or any other) entry.

Praise be unto the Lord Jesus Christ for guiding and energizing me to write this entry today.

Here is a picture I got a few days ago:

Go in Christ, friends.


Praise the good Lord Jesus Christ for waking up this saved one today uninjured, unimpaired, safely in his same bed under the same roof at the same beautiful beachside town he was born in to do Your will another blessed day NO MATTER WHAT.

Before I begin, I must admonish myself to not overindulge in the thousand or more word count flights of fancy that I am used to contributing here. This warning, God willing it is followed, because my “compositional” resources are substandard, my energy is low and this project doesn’t seem to be helping out the kingdom of the Lord Jesus Christ (here on earth) that much.

I imagine the imaginary reader would like an explanation as to my two or three month hiatus from posting on here, as well as a summary of the events which transpired in my life during said hiatus.

This request will be supplied to the best of my abilities herein. May the Lord make this useful for His kingdom….. oh, and ensure I don’t jeopardize my safety by accidentally …. ah, whatever.

The Oxford house I was staying at, the one I was actively drinking and using Benzedrine at all day instead of being productive, kicked me out for flunking a breathalyzer test on the evening of Independence Day.

In the interest of time and the preservation of my sanity I’ll gloss over that night’s events as just me winding up in the psych ER again.

This time it was by my own volition, which led to them (the hospital personnel) arranging a transfer to an outside drug addiction treatment center that would take my insurance ASAP.

Said treatment center, or chain of centers, happened to have a location somewhere in Florida, the state of my birth and the habitation of some of my close relatives.

They also offered to buy my direct flight plane ticket down there and the Uber ride from the hospital to the airport.

Needless to say, I took them up on this offer because my alternative options were virtually nonexistent.

From there I will gloss over my month in the care of that treatment chain’s Florida locations. They transferred me around several times until the insurance finally dropped us.

I will say this:

Praise God that I was put in the care of that treatment chain and in this location at this exact time.

Praise God for the patience and care given by everyone working at those facilities, regardless of the ridiculous ingratitude I witnessed from many patients at those facilities (including my own darn self). It is beyond difficult dealing with people like that going through what they’re going through, so I sympathize and will be praying for those employees.

OH! And the let you HAVE YOUR PHONE AND USE IT ALL DAY! (Except during class/group time)



My fellow patients at these facilities, despite some aforementioned grievances (of which I have readily admitted my guilt to as well), were generally very agreeable and, in some instances, genuinely friendly people.

I was somewhat strict on the “no Facebook adding” rule I made up for myself to follow during my stay there.

This rule was broken only once to my recollection, wait twice. Maybe thrice. Yes, thrice and no further. Thrice.

Each instance was a plausible exception to the rule on the grounds of them being very supportive women who, for some reason, have a genuine concern for my well-being.

This is nearly impossible to explain via text, so those who are perplexed just know I tried my best.

Now I’m staying with my uncle awaiting a very appealing and lucrative….. alright, a VERY NECESSARY job and housing opportunity for me in the business he purchased shortly after moving back from THE MOUNTAIN CITY to SOMEWHERE IN FLORIDA.

Prayers for my wellbeing are always appreciated and are, actually, also very necessary for me.

Because the Lord knows I’m in a ridiculously vulnerable time in my life, but I have a feeling that blessings like I’ve never had before will be around the door if I stay the course and continue to rely on the Lord Jesus Christ for everything.

I may not be anywhere near the ideal candidate amongst even my own depraved, spiritually-deprived and deceived generation for God to uniquely bless, but when He does it will be for His glory alone.

Hopefully His glory includes my physical, mental and financial well being.

I typed all of this on an iPhone SE. Lord willing someone will enjoy it out there soon, and Lord willing someone will somehow be spiritually nourished by this entire blog. Someone who isn’t just me, preferably.

This is an example of the Lord Jesus Christ at work, folks.

I wouldn’t expect another entry for a good while. If all goes well, I’ll have my laptop, a stable living situation and enough positive energy to dust this thing off again sooner rather than later.

Go in Christ, friends.

Edit: Here a couple pictures I’ve taken since being down here.


Praise the good Lord Jesus Christ and His Heavenly Father for waking up this saved one today uninjured, unimpaired , safely in his same bed under the the same roof, at the same beautiful town on the same beautiful creation of the Lord called earth ready to serve Him another blessed day no matter what!

Unfortunately, I’ve managed to severely damage my MacBook pro’s monitor this morning.

Before I begin to relate to my reader my testimony of how this fairly serious CRIME (haha, in the opinion of myself and my family), I’d like to preface it with the following statement:

As to whether or not it is purely the responsibility of my subconscious reflexes or of my conscious ignorance, I cannot exactly recall or judge from an objective position.

From my conscious perspective, I woke up at around 8:50 am this morning and proceeded to allow my body to do its normal stretching in a somnambulant manner. Little did I know, that one of the earbuds from the pair I recently purchased happened to be left upon the middle of my nearly-closed laptop to the LEFT of me. During this semi-somnambulant period of the morning, one of my arms accidentally pushed down the laptop screen fairly aggressively while the earbud was in the aforemenetioned position.

When it comes to this particular gawkish occurrence of result of what one could view as a minor mistake has become a fairly grievous one, manifesting itself in the form of a severely damage MacBook Pro monitor.

Praise the good Lord Jesus that the hdmi port on this thing actually works seamlessly, without any difficulty or without a necessity to make alterations on the computer’s settings. In so few words, I can just take a recently manufactured HDMI cable, plug one end into my parents’ living room TV then plug the other into my macbook’s hdmi port and whatever is intended to show up on my laptop’s monitor is mirrored onto the recipient monitor.

It is notably strange to be so impressed with something that is, in this day and age, typically as simple of an act as turning the leaver on a faucet and seeing a flow of water come out. This jubilance comes from a recent history of damaging laptop monitors, specifically 2 MacBook Pro monitors as well as 1 dell xyz123 whateverthehell, all of which I managed to severely damage the monitor screens of in a similar fashion (see: entries from mid-2016 for specifics on that occurrence), all of which had hdmi ports that I had suitable cables for and all of which failed to be able to replicate their displays on the external monitors they were connected to.

Every time that I have tried to procure necessary repairs (i.e. a new laptop monitor installed) for laptops that were victims of similar unfortunate occurrences, I have been quoted a fee that is equal to, or even exceeds, the retail price of a brand new windows laptop WITH BETTER SPECS!

I have yet to inform my mother of this little accident and its fairly substantial consequences, so thus I implore anyone reading this for prayers that I’ll at least conjure up the courage to do that….. Hopefully after praying for alleviation of the heavy veil of negativity that has long been over my life through both divine benevolence and positive motivation for me to pursue productive activities daily.

Yes, I am somewhat ambivalent about whether or not I should continue to pour what very little positive/”kinetic” emotional energy in such abundance for something that barely anyone has seen during its more than two years of active tenure. I do not intend to pursue a career in creative writing or the type of writing that I’m doing here, but it would be nice if all of the effort that I’ve poured into this project so consistently for such a long period to bear fruits of reward for me sometime soon.

Then again, I must the remember this blog’s bare mission statement:


Perhaps it isn’t so explicitly and concisely stated in my “about me” section, but the idea get’s across.

The second goal of this project is to enhance and maintain my spiritual relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ.

And finally, the third goal is for this project to positively enhance: My self-esteem, my mental issues, my value on the post-secondary and labor market, as well as my goals for positive growth in my general life.

Please pray for me.

I need a job, I need a life. I firmly believe that I have talents that many companies would want, some of them being fairly unique, but I need to somehow negotiate a part-time entry-level job coinciding with the pursuit of part-time schooling to enhance those talents to become a future asset for said company.

Oh, and a friend of mine has been trying to convince my that this blog is essentially a perfect puzzle piece to fit right beside the manifestos of the recent psycho/socio-pathic mass-murderers that occupy a substantial portion of our country’s news cycle.

If you reach this type of opinion about me, after even a cursory reading and assessment of a good portion of this blog’s back-catalog, then….. Ha. As awful as this sounds: I’d invite such an easily impressionable dolt, wait I mean “a greatly vigilant concerned citizen”, to report me and this blog to the FBI or the super cyber police immediately. That is my policy on any fears of such a manner henceforth.

As long as the Lord provides me with the motivation and direction, this blog will go on.

The fact that I neglected to describe the recent fairly notably negative life events that have occurred between my dad and I in the past few entries should dispel all notions that this blog is just a “pillow to scream in” or a soapbox.

Perhaps earlier entries adhered to subjects pertaining to my personal and social life, as well as their history. but I’ve unconsciously veered away from that theme recently in the grand scheme of this blog.

Almost all of my new entries begin with a stated intention to address a personal and/or social issue, but always end up focusing on one minor, or sometimes completely unrelated, subject and I embark on a prose-y composition to express my thoughts on that matter. That matter that always IS NOT MY PERSONAL AND/OR SOCIAL LIFE.

Not even the intended person and/or social issue, but just the entire portion of my life in that regard may occupy twenty or thirty words out of the whole thousand word entry. Substantially brief mentions.

True, when I started this blog I was still focused on getting that forlorn approval from my peers and I was still starkly bitter over their unilateral rejection of me in the past, but…. this thing was an outlet for my raw emotion. If you’ve got an issue with that then, once again, I invite you to alert law enforcement as to my suspicious activities on here. That little suggestion is said with a degree of malice and sarcasm admittedly, but nevertheless the only worry that I have with how people view this is:


Gosh, I can’t believe I so thoroughly ruined this darned MacBook Pro. If my blood-chemistry wasn’t so conducive to a positive mental state and if my dad was here, I’d probably be upset, to say the least. Previous entries will attest to how I think and feel when I’m “upset”.

Well, I have written another doozy and I’m a bit snoozy

but Im NOT plannin’ a roll up on mah haters wit mah uzi

Ha, I bet if this were just a blog where I posted raps about ridiculously violent and hedonistic bull hockey it would be considered a work of art from a mentally stable, productive citizen. I’d have to be black, of course, to pull that off but I’m vibe’ in a different direction than this lection (new word).

Please pray for me though. Please also give comments and likes, they are always appreciated beyond belief.

Go in Christ, friends.